Expectations

My expectations for this service study abroad program were several, but not necessarily specific.  I knew that I would come away with a bit more of an understanding of a very complicated situation.  I knew this was a great opportunity and I am grateful I was able to participate.  

One of my expectations was geared towards confirming a possible career path. I would love to work in post-conflict reconstruction, specifically with displaced individuals; however I have no idea what that entails. I was hoping to see the whole process from the moment the person arrives in Germany to the moment they are granted a positive status to stay.  I was hoping to see was services are offered to the migrants to be able to cope with not only what they had already experienced, but what lies ahead. I was also hoping to possibly talk to some of the individuals and learn their stories, but from the first day I followed one of the social workers, I felt that perhaps that was over-reaching.  I felt a bit ashamed to ask because I would be making them relive something absolutely awful, that I would never even be able to begin to process.  It felt a bit intrusive.  

Then there was another part of me that wondered whether I’d be able to handle listening to their story because I have a tendency to internalize things, just reading the newspaper gets me upset at times.  When we asked our social worker if he asked his clients their stories, he instantly started getting emotional and choked up trying to tell us he had to stop asking because it became too much for him.  That alone made me tear up, and I started to question whether I could do this.  

So, this whole experience will really be a test for me and we shall see at the end of it, and weeks, maybe even months, from it when I am able to process it, what my next path will be.